Satire Post – AirBnB Etiquette – If It Was Back in the Day

Today we have a myriad of business opportunities all spawning from the click of a button… ever imagine if these things existed during your childhood, in your neighborhoods, or with your family growing up?? Take AirBnB for example, a wonderful way for homeowners and maybe tenants to make a few extra bucks or a second income by merely renting out spaces in their homes to COMPLETE STRANGERS giphy-2No newspaper ads required, no posting at local colleges, just a quick few clicks from your phone or computers and *boom* you’re a host. So ever wonder, what if AirBnB existed back in the day? Guest etiquette, what would people do?

Coming from a predominately minority community, and an African-American, suburban home, with parents who just (for lack of a better term) didn’t play that sh!t, I was raised to have work-play balance, to have manners, drive, and to celebrate successes, and learn from missteps. I was provided a childhood full of healthy discipline, with a constant reminder that we receive mostly what we earn, but never solely just what we want. With that came a studious and structured lifestyle. Rules. But also a lot of laughter and fun, and above all – respect.

I’ve been an AirBnB guest a time or two and I definitely appreciate the benefits of a more personal experience than hotels. The opportunities to meet people from other countries, become welcome in their homes, houseboats, tree houses, campers, or island estates, and learning about their culture by being in their presence – adds a certain je ne sais quoi you can’t quite get from your chain hotels.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a nice suite but the personable nature of an AirBnB sometimes is what I need during my journey. 

Today I laughed to myself and wondered … what if AirBnB was a thing in the 90’s, 80’s, or 70’s … in certain communities, how different would it be? Then I wondered…. what might it have been like when I was growing up, in my community, or even in my house?


Prepare for the satire…. seriously

If AirBnB was back in the 70’s … 80’s … 90’s I suspect it would be used predominately by the younger generation of that time… Imagine a “Trading Spouses(a la Dave Chappelle) approach for the younger generation of that era…

So let’s talk house rules of that era?? …. let’s start with the “I know you know better” items, next we’ll discuss the “you know GATDAMN well”, followed by the “I wish a MF would”, and finally “I KNOW TF you didn’t” infractions we imagine would exist to mold the community into a well-behaved group.

Caveat: All explicatives are expressed with a light humor, and are not to be taken offense to. They are not used in an abusive manner, but rather a mild-to-severe warning, and most notably are expressed in thought and facial expression/body language…. because for most of us – a look is all it takes. 

Level 1: I know you know better: img_2967

  • Walking in and not taking off your shoes before entering the living any room.

One image… and I bet we all had the same flashback: media3

In what universe is tracking water, mud, grass, and/or dirt into someone else’s home acceptable? Do you know how much time is spent making those perfectly aligned vacuum lines? And if you had wood floors the look of fear when they got wet – foreseeing that indefinite warping. Shoes indoors would be an absolute no-go.img_2971

  • Running in/out the house repeatedly aka letting all the AC/Heat out! – sideye
  • Leaving unwashed dishes in the sink overnight – sideye
  • Leaving globs of toothpaste in the sink and/or splash on the mirror  – yuck!gross_73ab056a-ef6a-4212-888c-9537d2ed9840_large

If you were brought up like I was brought up, these all would fall under the “I KNOW you know better” category… and guess what… I did know better… and I still do.

Level 2: You know gatdam well!


  • Putting you feet on ANY furniture

Definitely a sign of being waaaaay too comfortable in someone else’s home. Bare feet, shoes, on and furniture was completely unacceptable. We’d barely be allowed socked feet on furniture – and that was only if the socks were visibly stain-free and smelled clean.

  • Leaving the water running in any unattended sink, shower, tub, spigot, or waterhose.

Quite literally how the sound of running water translates: sourceSay no more.

    • Making noise – at almost any time, but especially early in the morning and late at night… you will evoke the silent side-eyeimg_2970
  • Using the dishes, when there are paper and plastic wear readily available. again with the sideeye
  • Leaving the bathroom sink/shower with your hair all along the surfaces. As if you didn’t see those looooong hairs all along the tub or those shavings coating the bathroom sinkGif_2Now these slightly more serious offenses may garner some actually words being shared, perhaps an action or two. But again, I was raised to know better, and I still do.

Level 3: I wish a mf would!


  • Adjusting the thermostat

Most people grew up hearing “if you’re cold, put some clothes on”… in homes where people were a bit more conservative with their utility expenditures and whom also provided ample clothing and blankets for their children. Touching the thermostat in a full house is likened to touching the car radio from the rear passenger seat – you just don’t do it.

  • Opening ANY closed consumables (that you did not purchase)

Cause – giphy-5

Effect –giphy-4

These things, ladies and gentlemen, we were raised to innately know never to attempt.

Level 4: I know TF you Didn’t!


  • Leaving the lights on in any unoccupied space – especially when you have left the house

How you look leaving them on –giphy2

How they look turning them off – giphy-6

  • Eating/Drinking the last of ANY consumables (that you did not purchase)


  • Using the toilet as you’ve exited the shower (without first drying) and without wiping the seat afterwards

Many of us were raised with these lessons embedded in our memory. Some were not. But that is what makes me think IF AirBnB was prevalent in the 70’s, 80’s, or 90’s, some of these lessons may have been more well known than perhaps they are today.

Just a laugh, just some light literary satire

Generational differences, cultural differences, all with the same intent –

Courtesy and Respect.

What would be some things from your community, upbringing, or simply in your home now that may be a unique “rule” or unspoken “no-no” that you see people do today?

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Unspoken Taboo


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