As you detach emotionally from a person or environment you often have difficulties seeing the forest for the trees. So engulfed in the impact of the experience, you may become blinded by those feelings and unable to immediately embrace what’s on the other side of grief. You can’t feel the freedom of seeing the forest for the trees, because you’re blinded by the cloud of the experience, and it keeps you stuck…
But the day comes when you look back and say… wow. Realizing just how much energy you invested, how much of yourself you let become chipped away at, and how engulfed you were in a person or situation that caused you to feel so much pain… and surprisingly how relieved you are now that it’s gone.
It’s bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter in the end. Realizing that the person or situation you were once so invested in wasn’t actually fit for you. CLICK – Finding The Right Fit
No matter if it was a personal relationship that ended, a friendship that terminated, or a job that you left… eventually, you’ll be grateful it ended.
If you were the cause of the loss (caused the pain to a significant other, perpetuated unhealthy behavior that led to a relationship ending, or were rightfully let go from a job) then it is an opportunity for you to learn and grow and change your way – if you desire a different outcome or different people/situations to come your way. Either way, there will be resentment and/or grief you’ll need to work though. And if you choose to be the same-ol-you, doing the same-ol-things with the same-ol-people, and the same-ol-mindset, then you’ll probably have the same-ol-situations, circumstances, surroundings, and social circles and the cycle will continue leaving you in that same-ol-place. 🤷🏽♀️🤷♂️
—back to the good stuff—
Eventually, the grief of the loss (of whatever was once good) will turn to appreciation for the short-lived joys of nothing more than a brief memory, and acceptance that it was only meant for a season.
The disappointment of the negative experiences (where the bad outweighed the good) will turn into relief that it didn’t worsen by you remaining in that place.
The realization that it wasn’t good, healthy, or progressive enough to fulfill what you hoped for in your life, will turn into excitement for what actually IS fit for you, and a profound gratitude that you’re no longer blocked from receiving it.
You’re no longer distracted by the haze of what isn’t right for your long-term (relationship status, friendship, or career) or overall self. THAT IS A GOOD THING!
You begin to appreciate the fact that you are CAPABLE and WILLING to devote yourself to demonstrating value (in the workplace, in your friendships, to your significant other), instead of feeling naive to have given so much of yourself to a former situation or person. Your ability to be a great employee, boss, peer, friend, lover, partner, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiancée, wife/husband only makes you better fit for who/what is fit for you.
You begin to become humored by the former situation or person rather than annoyed, hurt, or bothered. You give your former self a look… as if to say… “you were wrapped around the axel over THAT?”
You become stronger. You become wiser. You become more refined for a better situation. Most importantly, you become freed.
EMBRACE THAT – that is your soul waking up and dusting off the foolishness, abuse, mistreatment, disrespect, unappreciative, devaluing experience or person you were once allowing to oppress you.
As you become more aware of the actual blessing it is for that situation to end, you regain the pieces of yourself that you didn’t even realize you were losing while you were involved in it. Your emotional awareness heightens, your focus is regained, your priories are shifted, and you become you again – but better. Think about it 💡… when you’re wrapped up in an unhealthy relationship, friendship, or career environment – it drains you. All of your energy, time, money, focus goes to improving that situation. You sacrifice sleep to think of ways to make things better, you sacrifice money to give to your partner or friend things or experiences that may improve the situation, you sacrifice acquaintances or behaviors that you realize are unhealthy for your relationship or employment. You dedicate yourself to repairing what’s broken. You focus totally on the situation or person – which is what you should do – but you forget it isn’t a one man/woman show, and the lack of reciprocity makes your efforts fruitless.
If you’re a loyal and dedicated, hard-working and invested romantic partner, friend, or employee then you try to give your all in order to make the relationship, friendship, or employment situation the best it can be. That takes energy and effort. You take the time to realize what it takes on your end to make thing work, and you provide it. One example is Maskow’s Heirachy of Need, you see a void in a particular area and you work to fulfill it.
And if you’re not being met with reciprocity, appreciation, sacrifice, focus, real commitment, true honesty and loyalty, or level of effort from your significant other, friend, or peer/employer, you will become depleted because their not investing in you.
But the silver lining is…. it’s over now… and you get to become full again.
Once you reach that point of clarity, you’ll see it all as a learning experience rather than a regret. Your frustrations or other negative feelings turn into a positive light inside of you. You being to think “what was I thinking?”
You might even chuckle at yourself for having stressed so much about that former situation, looking at how bright your world is now that it’s gone.
With that cloud removed from over you, you can simply enjoying the now. And even if you cross paths with the former significant other, friend, peer/employer you’re unbothered by their words or action or presence because you realize and accept who/what they are and most importantly you’re grateful to no longer be at a detriment due to their presence. They are an unregrettable loss and a valuable reminder of what not to subject yourself to in the future.
Thank them for that tidbit and hold you head high as you move forward. If you did your part, your investment in them will have an everlasting benefit to their lives/Business. You can greet them with a smile, knowing you didn’t break, and you’re ready for better. You can keep your composure and speak objectively because you’re free. Your imprint will remain forever upon them. Be proud of that. You were a betterment to someone else’s being or legacy.
Now embrace the person, employment opportunity or environment that does the same for you, and appreciates you for who you are and what you bring. You’re not missing anything in that former situation, because you know you are worth more because you exude more. So do better, accept more. Similarly, your ex, former friend, previous employer/peer will align with someone better fit for them.
Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees… but once you do… it’s an amazing feeling of freedom and readiness for what’s right for you.
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