Your Forever, Their Today

Today my Daily Dose is of awareness – and using it for growth. Watching and learning the people around me, the situations I find myself in, ones they find themselves in and wondering how permanently impacted one’s self-evolution, outlook on life, mindset and future are by the aspects of our present peers and surroundings. Is your forever, their today? Or visa versa?

I’m realizing each day how important it is to recognize the impact of those around you have upon your development and journey. How the actions of the now affect the path of your future. Even more, how often we ignore it and repeat the same cycles expecting different results. Or do so without a positive application of the things around you.

Nothing wrong with persistence, but balance it with awareness to yield a path you can accept. Don’t get stuck in a hamster wheel making the same decisions with the same frame of mind, same level of effort, same energy, same environment, same people, expecting a different experience.

I’m witnessing how critical a momentary experience or decision involving someone else can change your life forever. How important it is to choose wisely, and how often we think we do but actually don’t. How we make the same decisions with different logic or different approaches, all leading to the same outcome because our motivational foundation hasn’t changed. We sometimes stunt our own growth by not taking the positive aspects from our decisions/experiences and using it to evolve.

I am seeing how difficult it can be to change how you appear to others, or how they appear to you. How bad impressions made in moments that take months to replace, and years to maintain. And ironically, how great impressions made in months can take only moments to destroy. In these instances I notice how easily people give up the righteous path of actively righting the wrongs, consistently proving anew, and instead choose the path of least resistance either by fizzling out the momentum to revamp their image or by simply giving up and establishing a better image elsewhere. When we give up, we forever remain who we showed ourselves to be in that last instance.

I’ve noticed the exposures that forever change our assessment of what we do and don’t want in life. Experiences with people that shed light on lessons, attributes, or situations we (should) learn to avoid experiencing in the future. Yet, many of us need a few more rounds to apply what we learn or simply lack the strength to effect change in ourselves (and be accountable for that). We allow ourselves to be exposed to environments and situations with slightly different angles and yet find ourselves in similar end-results – a glaring reminder of the lack of a foundational change. Circular journey, running in place and going nowhere.

Is what you’re surrounded by all you’ll ever be? Have your habits reached their pinnacle and are you going to be stuck there? Are people around you evolving and leaving you behind? Is your forever their today? Are you stuck in a hamster wheel? Or are they?

But can an old dog learn new tricks? And if so, what assistance is required? How strong are we to simply “change”?

  • If you’ve been a heavy drinker or smoker for ~25 years, can you simply just stop? Are you surrounding yourself with indulging company?
  • If you’ve always targeted the glittery objects seeking (figuratively speaking) wealth (fulfillment), will you ever learn that all that glitters is not gold?
  • Do you often settle for things (jobs, relationships, mistreatment, risky situations/investments, less than savory environments or situations)? Do you know why? (Comfort, emotional need, dependency, insecurity, unhealthy sense of purpose, some other void) Can you simply stop without changing something about yourself?

Can our habits and tendencies be changed by the negative end-results they’ve let to? Is that strong enough or does it wear off?

  • If you’ve consistently chosen “fixer-upper projects” as partners or professions, ignoring the flashing red-lights of “DANGER- Potential risk of harm and/or depletion ahead!” Can you simply just eliminate the tendency or compulsion to do so in your future endeavors? What else is needed within you in order for you to stop? If there is something positive to be had of the situation, how do you continue with less risk?
  • When does optimism take a back seat to reality? When does Hope lose its teeth in gearing your decisions?
  • When do the lifetime impacts of your choices have the power to permanently affect your decision-making process? And how do you cope when that lifetime impact has already begun – how do you adjust when you were never prepared originally?

Do we have a momentary self-reflection strong enough to change our frame of mind or thought process? Or do we simply find new ways to convince ourselves “this time is different”?

  • If you’ve always thought “well it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck”….but Said to yourself “maybe it’s a chicken…. let’s just see how it tastes to find out for sure”… can you simply eliminate that curiosity?
  • How do you change your compulsion to choose foes for friends because you believe in your ability to positively influence others to be as loyal as you are to them?
  • How do you stop choosing sinking ships as opportunities for success because you believe you can change a career culture?
  • How do you avoid choosing partners who lack the obviously essential qualities because you believe they have potential to be different – eventually?

The simple answer is foundational change in yourself. Foundational awareness of today that changes your outlook of tomorrow… and beyond.

The reality is, most simply don’t change. Most simply won’t. And many people only do so temporarily – because it’s hard.

We find ourselves living our forever in their today. Expecting the world around us and the people surrounding us to adjust to better suit our needs, our comfort level, or our preference, when in actuality it’s unrealistic to have any influence upon that. Our power is only to change ourselves and the decisions we make and what we allow ourselves to be surround by or exposed to. We hold the power to observe the positive aspects of any circumstance or situation.

We need to change our outlook, the foundations by which we base our decision-making, our motivations, our boundaries and what we accept in our lives and to what extent, and in some cases our approaches in order to either align better with the situation and have a different feelings toward the outcome, or make a conscious decision to remove ourselves from the situation or environment completely, and avoid decisions that yield a potential to land us in the same end-result.

If already experiencing the affects of these choices, learning to cope with this reality and dig deep enough to change yourself for the better. Be aware of why you do thing things you do, how that affects your reality, how you can better yourself and the circumstances of your life. And keep doing it. Steer clear of people, places, things that distract you from that – even if that means solitude. Find better surroundings, motivators, find your fuel, and a better frame of mind. Embrace your new life with a more focused mind.

Learn to change yourself and you can learn to change your life. Learn to change you and you can learn to either accept a situation with a different perspective and hopefully a more positive outcome, or learn to avoid experiences like it ever again.

No matter your choice – you are in control of your own happiness by way of who you choose to be and the life you choose to lead. Let your forever be your today.

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