Cookout Etiquette – Humor Post

Today and tomorrow there will be a plethora of home-based events, cookouts etc. Just spreading some humor and slightly-serious advice to keep the peace this holiday:

  1. Don’t pop your ar$e up at someone’s house unannounced/uninvited
    • Show some respect
    • Ask permission, not forgiveness
    • Entitlement might land you outside with a door closed in your face
    • Everyone is not a cousin
  2. Don’t call someone’s phone back-to-back if it’s not an emergency (and you’ve not called 9-1-1 yet)
    • Side-eye worthy
    • Blocked number worthy
  3. Don’t come for people you are not prepared for
    • If you dish out rudeness or insults, be prepared to take the equivalent – or worse
    • If you get your feelings hurt – don’t act absurd or embarrass yourself
  4. Don’t come to eat when you haven’t brought anything
    • Napkins/paper towels
    • Plasticwear
    • Desserts – even store bought are better than showing up empty handed
  5. Don’t drink more than you can handle
    • Public intoxication is not ok
    • Slurred speech and loss of motor skills is extremely unattractive
    • You will be left at home next time
  6. To The Cooks – Keep your hands where we can see them
    • Don’t be touching your sweaty head and then handling burger buns
    • Don’t cough over the potato salad
    • Germs & Sickness, cross-contamination – nobody got time for that!
  7. Take Respectful Portions of Leftovers
    • When you’re told to “take some home” that doesn’t mean “take some for the whole home”… this is not your alternative to grocery shopping for the month
    • Transpose the food from their tupperware to your own when you get home and return people’s Tupperware when you’re done
  8. Keep your kids under control
    • Discipline can come from any of the elders if you don’t do it yourself
    • I see a light clotheslining in their future
  9. Keep the conversation light and fun
    • It’s a WHOLE holiday, a whole d@mn holiday!… nobody wants to be bogged down with drama – let it be peaceful today

Hope that gave you a chuckle…

Use as directed…


Photo Credit

~Speak Life~

~D’Lorah Denise~



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