Befriend or Be-foe? What’s the role & why?

There are billions of people in this world and if we so choose, we can make new connections with many of them everyday. But what’s the motivation?

Are you befriending people for opportunity?

dependency?

insecurity?

Are you befriending them to add value to their life?

Are you befriending people for mutual benefit?

Is it organic or is it forced?

Ideally speaking, we all love to have kinships that are built on solid foundations. Primarily built on trust.

If there is no trust, there is no faith, and hence no real future. 

Consider the relationships you have now, have lost, and those you want to create or restore. Ask yourself what is motivating you to bond with that person? or them to bond with you? Do you view something in them you want to attach yourself to – success, popularity, networking circle, or maybe a special talent they have that you’d like to learn, maybe its simply a positive energy they manifest. Identify what that is.

Who’s On Your Wagon?

Then, figure out what you would like to offer to balance the scales. Do you have a niche that fits with theres? Can you help them take their craft a step further? Do you have associates that they might benefit from knowing? Or do your personalities simply mesh so well that you foresee a beautiful friendship evolving? Could that friendship transcend into something more?? or even something romantic?

What you appreciate will appreciate.

Hopefully your intentions are pure. In a perfect world, they are on both sides of the relationship. But in the event that their intentions are not pure, take a moment to reverse the logic and assess what motivates the people in your circles to be where they are. Some people are so used to taking that they don’t know how else to interact. Some have a subconsciously selfish mindset in which they don’t even think to pour into anyone else’s life, but automatically engage to gain. Love them anyway – just from afar.

Choose your circles wisely. Surround yourself with positivity and be a catalyst to influence it with those around you.  Investing in people and being genuine in your engagements goes a long way to build trust, foster healthy relationships, and create solid foundations. Consistency and Effort are key! Build and keep those mutually beneficially, emotionally safe friendships. Those support systems are what you’ll need in life.

Be a REAL friend.

In an platonic sense, many people affiliate themselves for the sake of gaining motivation, positive influence, status, or other social elevation. In any event, you should not enter into a relationship with the sole focus of gaining, and not giving.

No one likes to be taken advantage of. No one like to feel used. And no one desires to be in a one-sided relationship of any sort. However, in most cases, you have control as to what you allow to be done to you, and how you allow people to make you feel.

Romantically Speaking…..

Many people latch on out of dependency, insecurity, or fear of being alone. In a romantic sense, for many people they’d

rather be with anyone

for the sake of being with someone 

because they fear being with no one.

A sad reality. That’s an inner strength that needs work, and until resolved will cause people to engage in unhealthy relationships.

So, food for thought. Take a moment to assess your relationships. Mend broken ones, restore lagging ones, make new healthy ones, and consider cutting off unhealthy ones.

Acquaintance, Friend, Foe, Colleague, Business partner, lover, life partner…

what’s the role and why?

I’ve made and lost a lot of “friends” along the way. But the losses made room for positivity. Those who’ve stood the test of time contribute to my growth – and I contribute to theirs. IMO, relationships of any type should be reciprocal.

Everyone has something to offer (not speaking tangible things), and we are all capable of making someone else’s life better. All it takes is effort, genuineness, and honesty. Be good to others and let others be good to you.

Prosperity is in sharing, nurturing, growing, loving, and investing in the positivity within and around you, and in planting those seeds in others to do the same. Reciprocity creates a cycle of growth and expanded positivity.

Books of note to help you identify positive relationship and build more of them:

Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t

Why You Do the Things You Do: The Secret to Healthy Relationships

Codependency – “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”: Learn How To Cultivate Healthy Relationships, Overcome Relationship Jealousy, Stop Controlling Others and Be Codependent No More

~Shed Light, Speak Life~

~D’Lorah Denise~

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