Cookout Etiquette – Humor Post

Today there will be a plethora of home-based events, cookouts etc. Just spreading some humor and slightly-serious advice to keep the peace this holiday:

  1. Don’t pop your ar$e up at someone’s house unannounced/uninvited show some respect
  • Ask permission, not forgiveness
  • Entitlement might land you outside with a door closed in your face
  • Everyone is not a cousin

2. Don’t call someone’s phone back-to-back if it’s not an emergency (and you’ve not called 9-1-1 yet) Side-eye worthy

  • Blocked number worthy

3. Don’t come for people you are not prepared for If you dish out rudeness or insults, be prepared to take the equivalent – or worse

  • If you get your feelings hurt – don’t act absurd or embarrass yourself

4. Don’t come to eat when you haven’t brought anything Napkins/paper towels

  • Plasticwear
  • Desserts – even store bought are better than showing up empty handed

5. Don’t drink more than you can handle Public intoxication is not ok

  • Slurred speech and loss of motor skills is extremely unattractive
  • You will be left at home next time

6. To The Cooks – Keep your hands where we can see them Don’t be touching your sweaty head and then handling burger buns

  • Don’t cough over the potato salad
  • Germs & Sickness, cross-contamination – nobody got time for that!

7. Take Respectful Portions of Leftovers When you’re told to “take some home” that doesn’t mean “take some for the whole home”… this is not your alternative to grocery shopping for the month

  • Transpose the food from their tupperware to your own when you get home and return people’s Tupperware when you’re done

8. Keep your kids under control Discipline can come from any of the elders if you don’t do it yourself

  • I see a light clotheslining in their future

9. Keep the conversation light and fun It’s a WHOLE holiday, a whole d@mn holiday!… nobody wants to be bogged down with drama – let it be peaceful today

Hope that gave you a chuckle…

Use as directed…

cookout

Photo Credit

~Speak Life~

~D’Lorah Denise~

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