“Practice makes perfect” as they say. Theoretically, in the world of dating, the positive aspect of ended relationships is a myriad of lessons. Therefore, the “practice” of relationships can help you become more “perfect” for that ONE. Likewise, you’ll learn how to love a loyal partner when one catches your heart… if you’re attentive.
When you’re in a relationship with a person who constantly demonstrates their loyalty and commitment to you/your relationship, and whom you genuinely love, there’s no reason not to want to love them fully. Cherish what they are giving you, because it is indeed rare nowadays. In an age of instant gratification, with 1,000+ social media apps at your fingertips, the ability to “swipe left or swipe right” to find a date within minutes, no matter where you are in the world, and with a plethora of mechanisms that make it oh-so easy to be unfaithful – or at the least, inappropriate toward your relationship – with a Snap, or a ghost phone number, or a phony instant message account perhaps amongst hidden apps in your smartphone, loyalty is definitely a commodity – and a choice.
If you’re fortunate enough to garner the undivided attention of someone who has your heart, here’s a few ways to love YOUR loyal partner:
- Give Security
The rarity of loyalty is not lost upon your partner. Give them an abundance of reasons to trust, give them an overload of security in your faithfulness, your love, and your adoration for them and the value the relationship holds in your life, and your active protection of it.
Talk to them about how you feel. Explain how the relationship adds to your life and speak life into your partner. Talk about goals – and work toward reaching them together. Align visions, and integrate yourselves into each other’s plans.
Keep no secrets, tell no lies, and should you make a mistake – be the first one to tell your partner, accept responsibility, acknowledge the impact, apologize, keep apologizing, and actively demonstrate change – consistently… to the ends of the earth & beyond.
Prove that you’ll be loyal if the “shine” fades. Particularly for the provider in the relationship (per societies general expectation) it is important that it’s know that your loyalty is not dependent upon financial contributions. The loyalty, love, trust, sincerity, integrity, support, and respect given should only be contingent upon the abundance of those same attributes received. No amount of temptation, status, money, or other tangible/temporary factors should influence or change your loyalty and it is your responsibility to make that known.
Lastly, be passionate – in communication, in love-making, in protecting your relationship and in loving your partner. Give your all.
- Show Appreciation
Show & Tell! Give compliments – and be specific. Highlight the great things about your man/woman to make sure they know they’re recognized and not being taken for granted. Whether it’s how beautiful or handsome they look, or how intelligent they are, or how well they cook, or how responsible they are… whatever it is – big or small detail, praise him/her both publicly and privately. Let the world know you appreciate your partner. They may blush a bit, but on the inside they’ll glow. Demonstrate appreciation – small tokens, gifts, short messages, be creative. The effort and the acknowledgment will mean so much.
Keep criticism behind closed door, those are conversations for private environments and should only be between the two of you. If you must being others into it, do so in a way that doesn’t gang-up on or embarrass the other. Even if you must criticize, try to find something positive to highlight about them so the entire conversation is not a bashing session. Show love even in anger.
- Stimulate them Mentally
Communicate. Figure our their interests, find your common interests and bond. Take initiative and make decisions that grow your connections and therefore your relationship. Lead when you’re supposed to. Guide when you need to. Be present, be contributing, be mentally stimulating. Grow each other.
- Stimulate them Emotionally, Pay Attention & Invest
Be thoughtful and considerate. Put in extra effort to make them feel special. Do the “just because” things that show you thought of them. Place their emotional needs first. Recognize that we are all different and we all recognize love different ways. Ideally, you’ll be with someone who loves the same way you do – but if you’re not, recognize their way of love and tap into it. Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch are all different forms of love. Some meaning more to your partner than others. Feed their emotional needs, recognize what means most to them and invest… then feed all the rest.
- Be Consistent and Dependable
Be a man/woman of your word. Do what you say you will do, when you say you will do it. No excuses. Find a way to keep your word when challenges are presented unexpectedly. Show up when you’re supposed to and keep your word. If you lost every tangible thing you had today, your job, your money, your assets, all you would have is your word. If your word is no good, neither are you. Prove your loyalty by being consistent and dependable to the one you love – and hopefully to everyone around you.
- Be Faithful
This should go without saying, but hey… Being unfaithful tears down relationships and trust extremely fast. As some say, it takes years to build a reputation and moments to tear it down. DO NOT allow other people to infiltrate your relationships, and avoid investing your energy both physically and emotionally into someone else.
Impure actions and conversations is still cheating. Infidelity isn’t always sex, intimacy, kissing, and touching, it can also be erasing call logs or message history, sneaking visits, or other discrete interaction. If you can’t do or say certain things in your partner’s presence that you’d say in their absence, then it is improper at the least and you shouldn’t be doing it at all. That alone may be considered infidelity by your partner. Sharing intimate information, personal secrets, or other things sacred could be considered emotionally cheating as you invest that trust in confiding in someone other than your partner. Allowing former lovers to have access to you in manners that are inappropriate to your current relationship can give way to infidelity and can lead to conflict otherwise avoidable. Privileges are for Partners – not bystanders.
There can only be one #1 man/woman in your life. Make sure that is your partner. Likewise, your partner should be your biggest supporter. You should be their #1. Even close friends have boundaries and those lines of distinction need to be very clear with the friends, and your partner, and respected and enforced. We all have friends that are near and dear to our hearts, but those lines should never cross into the realm of intimacy or anything else exclusive to your romantic relationship with your partner. In a loyal relationship, your close friends should be well-known by your partner and visa-versa. No questionable acquaintances/friendships, no reason to wonder. No wonder, no worry.
Investing in your partner will be returned 10 fold when you’re in a healthy relationship with a loyal partner. Takes one to know one.
Nothing worth having comes easily. Everything earned is worth protecting.
Read more: 10 Healthy Marriage Tips
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