Empowerment: The Subtle Silver Linings of Singledom

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Ladies & Gentlemen: Wake up to the birds chirping, you’re sprawled out across the bed and rising to the sole objective of finding food and maintaining peace of mind. Speaking on behalf of many of our male and female readers, some people enjoy this everyday as single individuals, living alone and enjoying that lifestyle. Some need a reminder of what this feels like – perhaps after a breakup.

In 2014, 64% of adults 16-29 years old were single/never married and 56% of adults between 30-39 Credit. As reported by the CDC as currently as 2014, the U.S marriage rate is 6.9 per 1,000 total population, and 3.2 divorces per 1,000 total population. Per CDC, there are 2.1M marriages and 814k divorces in the United States population of roughly 324M per census Source.  That’s 0.65% of the population being married, and of that married population, nearly 40% ending in divorce. With that said, it may be beneficial to at least pay homage to the silver linings of “singledom”.

Being single doesn’t have to be equivalent to being lonely. It actually can be synonymous with freedom, independence, or even happiness. Similarly, when changing relationship statues, so should they. The state of your being should not change.

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Happiness should be enhanced by the addition of another person in your life – and you in theirs. Here’s a few silver linings of the single-life that may diminish when changing relationship status, but some worth preserving after that change based on personal preference.

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  • Privacy
  • The luxury of eating take-out on the sofa… in your bathrobe
  • The luxury of drinking your meals … meal replacement or Smoothies, Cocktails, Beer, Wine, Champagne
    • A shot a day keeps the BS away (joke)
  • Laundry – To wash or not to wash, that is the question
    • Do it when you want, or not at all … ever heard of dry-cleaning
  • Housework – where’s that magic wand when you need it
    • Option 1 – delay it, and avoid having company
    • Option 2 – hire a maid
    • Option 3 – muster motivation to complete it yourself
  • Groceries optional
  • Sleep wherever … whenever… wake when you want.
  • Clothes not required when roaming the fort
  • Emotional accessibility on-demand (phone a friend)
  • Independenceind
  • Commitments?? What commitments?
  • Judgement-free zone

Being single in itself doesn’t get old. Emotional connections or lack there-of can – but that same lack of connection can occur even if you are in a relationship. Having options, however, is a non-perishable luxury.

Bored? Find a hobby

Want company? There’s an app for that.. several actually.. or try old-fashion approach

Want excitement? Find a party or throw one yourself

Want a connection? Call a close friend or family member

Want a tot? Borrow your friends’, babysit your niece or nephew,

join a Big Brother/Big Sister Organization,

or maybe adopt if you think you want that lifestyle permanently.

Keep in mind people… your mate (and you) had a life before eachother…. chances are, you’ll have one after. Hopefully, your life together is blissful, but mindful of the silver lining you once enjoyed before this time. No one magically changes just because their relationship status does – even if it involves a ceremony.

Just think of this as second-hand practice… keep the balance, be yourself, accept your partner, and smoothly blend lifestyles as to not disrupt the healthy portion of your pre-relationship status.

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Acknowledging that while the above may be true to some, it’s ok to feel a yearning to spend your life with an fitting partner.  Who says you can’t be part of the population to bring us to a full 100% of married v. single people. Your status as a single, involved, or even married person is relative to the effort you put forth, the decisions you make, the environments you place yourself in, and those of the partner you choose. The benefit of being single, however, is you have the time to invest in yourself, clearly recognize your worth and value, treat yourself as you should be treated, and set your standards such that you accept only that or better from someone else. You have time to grow without the influence of another person subjecting you to things that could sway your standards one way to the other. You have time to choose for yourself.

  1. Consider the relationships you choose and why – (Read Befriend or Befoe, and make sound decisions)
  2. Keep your spirits high and avoid procrastination of pursuit, (Read Procrastination & Anxiety)
  3. Architect your own happiness and welcome others to participate (Read Happy Place)

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Open minds open minds.

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